Three tenets of the Minority

1. No majority vote.

2. Never make a list.

3. Do not believe people will use a mere second of their life to find out your intention.

Thoughts?

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How I stopped smoking

This is not a “how-to” for the smoker. This is a “how-to” for people whose loved one smokes.

So I stopped smoking. Exactly how I always knew it would stop.

As nearly 100 % of the smokers, I started smoking in my teens. My friends were smoking, and I heard it made managing emotions easier. That wasn’t true. Not only did it not help dampen the emotions but also added the stress of bullying. (Did you notice that bullying is not ok unless the bullied person is fat or a smoker?)

I hid my smoking. I got really good at choosing places and angles to not get much of the smell on me or my clothes. But then someone would at some point shout really loudly and triumphantly “UGH! Who has been smoking!! It stinks!!”

I tried to explain to people that people who were just having a smoke a few minutes ago are exactly the ones who don’t need the added stress of being called out. But, you know how people are when they know they have an infallible argument. They yelled over me “SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU.” Some even laughed.

I hid my smoking even better, and it’s been a few weeks since someone called me out in public.

And, just like that, I found myself not smoking.

I’m not saying this is something your loved one needs in order to stop smoking. Some people do need to be nagged into quitting. But it is very important that you nag because that’s what’s helpful for that person not because you need an outlet for your frustration of that person’s smoking. And the fact you can’t control their smoking.

Suicide epidemic

I’m currently looking in to researching what kind of questions researchers are asking.

Because the question is I hear a lot is “why are you choosing death?” And the researchers seem satisfied with “because I see no other option.”

We need to ask “ok, so you are seeing death as an option among non-options instead of death also being a non-option. Why is death an option?”

Because I believe that’s where we need to work. Making it a non-option requires us to know what makes it an option.

The famous example is the seppuku (aka “harakiri,” the act of suicide by samurais to prove their clean conscience). The people were convinced that suicide is an option toward their ultimate goal.

We need to ask about the goal and the options that gets you to the goal in order to make suicide not an option.

The definition of “intelligence”: the final answer

Psychologists struggle and debate and argue over the definition of the word “intelligence.” Spearman, Thurstone, Gardner, Sternberg…

And one thing I see in common with them is this. They allow for the assumption that “intelligence” is a commonly and consistently understood entity that people are trying to qualitatively and quantitatively define. And this assumption is wrong.

The debate over the term “intelligence” will not ever be over unless they all agree that no one is thinking the same thing when they talk about “intelligence” and that’s why it can’t be defined this way.

Say, you and I agree that “beauty” is something that is pleasing to the eye and touches a soul. But once we start defining it qualitatively and quantitatively, I say a curvy woman, and you say a lean muscular man. I say a green forest, and you say a vacant rocky shore. To define “attractive,” I say “helpful, considerate, and insightful,” and someone may say “someone who can help me gain better social approval and self image.”

My point is that some things can only be defined as a concept, not what it actually looks like.

“Intelligence” is the “naturalcor acquired neural predisposition to excel.”

And it’s OK if everyone has a different definition from there on. Just make sure you add an adjective. Like the “g” intelligence, emotional intelligence, athletic intelligence.

Say NO to EBay Global Shipping Program! Unless you can wait extra two weeks. 

GSP basically means eBay contracted Pitney Bowes to act as the distribution centre for their sellers. Yes, it’s as inefficient as it sounds. 

It doesn’t save shipping cost, and it doesn’t make it ship faster. GSP is simply a way for the seller to conceal something. Like their address, their name, who knows. The shipper may think they are saving time, but they could do the documentation themselves with automated tools or couriers like DHL who’d do the same and save time they currently spend replying to all the buyer messages complaining about the delays and stalls in the shipment. 

As a buyer,  the GSP experience is a slow torture with a nasty punchline. 

Your seller ships the item to GSP. This process is pretty fast. Day 1. Shipment is created (the seller printed the waybills).Day 2. Parcel is picked up. Day 3-4 (maybe 3-5). In transit and delivered to the global shipping centre. Then it sits there for a couple three days waiting for GSP to get to it. When we are used to items moving through efficiently in the modern systems like DHL and USPS, this is surprisingly excruciating. Then it goes out again, which you can track through Pitney Bowes tracking site, goes through the customs into your cointry, and handed over to your domestic postal/courier service. The domestic service gives it a new tracking number and tracks till it gets to you. 

If the item loses tracking or doesn’t arrive on time, you can call eBay, but GSP will not respond to you for 48 to 72 hours. I don’t even know how long after that for them to actually act on it even if all you need from them is for them to submit an issue ticket to your local postal service. This, with sellers who ship directly, is typically done within a business day or two. 

I live in the area with one of the world’s most sophisticated sorting centre and fastest postal service. Seldom ever parcels get lost or delayed. Case in point, eBay purchases that is sent to me directly usually gets to me before the earliest expected delivery date. But once it goes through GSP, not one item has arrived within the expected delivery date. Just today, the last day in the expected delivery window eBay “commits” to, I ended up devastating a 5-year-old. Yes, I should have known better based on my knowledge of their performance. That’s why I’m writing this to avoid it happening to a first timer, buying things for graduation, birthdays, and anniversaries. 

I totally so use GSP. Like I’m replenishing office supplies locker in advance, ordering toner replacements a month ahead, new socks, etc. 

I avoid GSP (and eBay) like the plague if it’s something that should arrive within a reasonable amount of time. Answer: Amazon or experienced eBay sellers that ship directly. I am willing to pay at least 10 % extra. 

Do not teach your children that they are beautiful just the way they are. Teach them how to ignore those who tell them they aren’t, including yourself.

There is a strong impulse in all of us to try and protect children from hurt. I imagine that’s why I’ve seen many guardians, parents, older siblings tell a child how inadequate s/he is. Yes, it’s true. The same people who validate, affirm, and cherish the children for already being perfect just the way they are would also have the urge to prevent the child from becoming “high on themselves.”

Because I see this every single day being done to me.

Overtly or covertly, they tell me I’m inadequate. The same people would tell me, if I were an inconfident person, that I just need to love myself more.

 

Where does fentanyl come from?

The first rule of any trade is to expand the customer base, not kill it. So who’s mixing fentanyl into the street drug?

Just had a thought. The only guys that profit from this are the ones making and selling prescription opioids. I wouldn’t put it past them myself. I call for a major audit for fentanyl manufacturers. 

Anyway. This is where we forget vendetta and do the right thing by legalizing prescribed opioids for addiction maintenance.