On the train in Vienna, a boring-looking lady waves her ID and announces “Betreff de gratz otometz!” (Might be *slightly* off on dictation) Everyone starts shuffling and sticking their hands and heads in the pockets and bags.
She realizes I’m not moving so she repeats it just to me again but slowly this time. I don’t know what it all means, so I approach her. And think to myself “HANG ON, WOMAN. What if she’s a mugger and everyone is pulling out their wallets?” I leap backwards in a Sonya Tayeh routine. And catches myself “What robber waves a photo id?” She glares at me from above her reading glasses. We’re in a stare down. I think “this is how people get killed. You stupid ass.”
A girl sticks a pass in the lady’s face. The lady nods.  Sky train fare evader buster!!

I proudly step forward and show her my card. She examines it. Points at it, “stamp!”, tsks, and copies the issuing date from my receipt to the blank space on the card.
Train gets to the next stop by the time she’s done. A dozen people rush off the train. You’re welcome.
Oops it’s my stop too! I follow the masses and… these doors close fast eh?


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