Kids are often inadvertently taught “Apologize because you benefit.”
“Say sorry, and you may go play.”
“No ipad till you apologize to your sister.”
“Say sorry, and I’ll forgive you.”
And our society really comes together to make sure this rule is applied – either consciously or otherwise. Once someone apologizes, that person must be rewarded.
The result is a society where “not accepting an apology” is more evil than the original act.
I’ve been hit, cheated on, sent death threats and bomb threats. They tampered with my car, which caused a near crash on a 100km/h highway.
Once the offender said those two precious words, “I’m Sorry,” everyone including my closest friends and the police told me “Well, s/he apologised.”
I say I don’t want to go to that party because the cheater will be there. “Oh. Get over it already. He’s apologized!”
I had given up hope of finding people who simply just owned up – without expectations of forgiveness or to clear their name or whatever it may be they are looking for other than just to own up. I applaud Jonah Hill for this.
NB: even though I am a female, I had that word thrown at me many times. It never did hurt me for some reason. If it had, I may find it hard to forgive him. But my point is that he is not looking for an action from those he hurt, including forgiveness.