Let’s call it “neurotransmitter disorder.”

Let’s give it a real name.
“Bipolar” used to be called “manic depressive.”
“PTSD” was called “shellshock.”

The word “depression” is too confusing.
A person suffering from neurotransmitter disorder/deficiency isn’t feeling down because something depressing just happened.

How do I know?
Because I know that someone with this disorder couldn’t even connect with an event to have an emotional reaction to it, like “oh, that’s depressing.”

Is one born with it? Who knows. I kind of think one has to be at least a bit susceptible to it, just like heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.
how does one acquire it? Who knows.
In many cases, it’s probably like type 1 diabetes.  In some cases, there may be external factors. I think it’s because a brain is a habitual being. I believe you can teach your brain the wrong chemistry if you’re susceptible to it. If you practice disordered/binging/dieting eating, your brain could develop an eating disorder. If you have a fatal illness and face the possibility of death every day, you could develop neurotransmitter deficiency.

Who knows how it starts.
What I know is that the word “mental” does not draw the right image in our minds.


Limits to Empathy

What is the limit of your empathy?  

Does someone who’s a self-righteous jerk deserve your empathy?

Does a bully deserve your empathy?

Does an animal abuser deserve your empathy?  


I think about this all the time.  
I believe that no one really wants to be a bully.  Maybe it’s the wrong wiring. Maybe it’s the upbringing. Maybe it’s the personality.  Maybe it’s the fact they chose to do evil when they know the difference between right and wrong.  I still do not believe anyone becomes a bully if they had a control over it.  

This equation can be applied in any case – cases that makes nauseous for me to apply it.  There are cases where it’s way past my capacity for empathy.  Is it acceptable for me to have limits to my empathy?  

How do I achieve harmony and peace between the fact these people caused tremendous and often irrepairable physical or emotional harm to other living beings and the fact that they too, technically, are humans and deserve empathy?  
Where it is when it’s ok to say “OK, now this guy doesn’t deserve empathy.”

I’m a 70’s kid. And I’m sorry.

I see a lot of those on Facebook, and I agree with you – I too am very grateful.

10502188_722976044434418_8215748814544447832_n big-wheel-jump-the-70s

At the same time, I wonder how these make kids feel. I don’t feel that they had a choice in how their lifestyle is affected by technology and social media. It’s like us and video game, isn’t it? Now that we are adults, they give it to us, get us addicted, and tell us we are wasting our life on it and that our lives are incomplete because of it.

I feel that there are many kids out there who were raised on tablets and social media.  And once they are 2 years old, they demand these gadgets that they were caused to get hooked on, and the parents call it kids “choosing” it as pastime.


We need to send a different message.  Sorry, the young generation, that we didn’t steer you away from it the same way our parents steered us away from drugs and video games.  Sorry that you are currently not choosing to play outside because you were never given an opportunity to love the outside, the nature, the getting dirty, and getting hurt.

“How can we make it up to this generation,” not “Sucks to be you!”  That’s what we need to post in memes.

Happy Pride

So this is the first time I did any dress-up for Pride. So I was quite excited.


The great thing about my upbringing is that it forced me to think that I wasn’t enough, I was inferior, and I was unlovable, as a whole.
It meant that there wasn’t a part of me, being Asian, short, unathletic, or gay, that was unacceptable and shameful.
I got teased and bullied and taunted in school too, but they never targeted a specific characteristic of mine. They didn’t need a reason. They didn’t need to justify why I should be targeted. It was me whose clothes they hid while I was in PE. Thumb tacks in shoes. Inaudible taunting. Parties where everyone else is invited and I’m specifically and repeatedly informed I’m not invited. 
I’m extremely lucky that at no point in this I felt that my characteristic, personality trait, or who I am had anything to do with me being bullied.