Remember this. The world wants you to believe you’re not enough.
So they can
– sell you their products, services, and magazines,
– pay you less, and
– stay in a dysfunctional relationship.
Remember. It’s never about you. It’s about what they are gaining from it.
Every major university has a marketing major. There is an entire science and art dedicated to tapping into where people find themselves “not enough.” And to help people *find* where they aren’t enough.
Our own loved ones praise us how cute we are, how smart we are, and how athletic we are, causing us to grow up believing THOSE are the criteria that make us important. Not “I’m my own unique person,” which is definitely more important in making a life and making a living than “athletic.” But “being own person” doesn’t sell anything.
Why do our loved ones do that to us? Because they too were raised around marketing. They want us to succeed, and marketing caused them to believe that success is about being smart, cute, and athletic.
One of many things I am thankful that I was neglected as a child is that no one taught me these things.
You, today’s parents, are fighting through a world where, no matter what you do, someone out there thinks you are doing it all wrong.
Even those blog posts that tells you to ignore the internet and trust yourself directs you to “do what raises a happy child.” What’s a happy child? The child who is wailing because she was told she can’t have the candy – is that a happy child or not happy child? What a massive confusion to add to the overwhelming, sleep-deprived day. Leaving parents feeling perpetually protective of their “way” and having an allergic reaction to “advice” – even those from their own parent. They live in a world surrounded by criticism, as much as a fat-shamed teen idol.
Now that you’ve pushed away everyone in order to protect yourself from “advice” (= criticism, because if I’m doing perfectly, there wouldn’t be any advice, will there?) you’re not getting support and confirmation either. So you give everything you possibly can to the child. Every minute. Every attention. Every energy.
Everything except for the child’s ability to entertain themselves. The child’s ability to focus on one thing and hold the attention (don’t deny it… when adults play with babies they always present new toy every 5 seconds!).
There you go. Now, after having given everything, you’re being told that you did something wrong.
How is that fair.
“Yes, I’ve been screamed at based on my race only. But racism is the least of my concern.
I’m a hockey ref. Every day I wake up, and people have already decided I’m wrong. And I deserved to be yelled at based on their opinion. That’s discrimination.”