You, today’s parents, are fighting through a world where, no matter what you do, someone out there thinks you are doing it all wrong.
Even those blog posts that tells you to ignore the internet and trust yourself directs you to “do what raises a happy child.” What’s a happy child? The child who is wailing because she was told she can’t have the candy – is that a happy child or not happy child? What a massive confusion to add to the overwhelming, sleep-deprived day. Leaving parents feeling perpetually protective of their “way” and having an allergic reaction to “advice” – even those from their own parent. They live in a world surrounded by criticism, as much as a fat-shamed teen idol.
Now that you’ve pushed away everyone in order to protect yourself from “advice” (= criticism, because if I’m doing perfectly, there wouldn’t be any advice, will there?) you’re not getting support and confirmation either. So you give everything you possibly can to the child. Every minute. Every attention. Every energy.
Everything except for the child’s ability to entertain themselves. The child’s ability to focus on one thing and hold the attention (don’t deny it… when adults play with babies they always present new toy every 5 seconds!).
There you go. Now, after having given everything, you’re being told that you did something wrong.
How is that fair.