Kind of dislike the word “agender.” I kind of dislike that “a.”


That “a” is kind of yucky. “Absence of.”

Though I guess that describes me best.
I’m not unhappy with the gender on my driver’s license. It’s fun to be this gender. I think it’s also fun to be the other gender. I’m irked that I can’t experience being the other gender without giving up mine. I love dressing up masculine in a smart suit. I love dressing up feminine in an elegant dress. I love doing activities that are traditionally associated with either gender. I am very cut-and-dry like traditionally expected in a man, and I am very feelings-oriented like traditionally stereotyped for a woman. This may be a pretty common feeling for anyone – from transgender, cisgender, to agender.

What makes me agender is this: The feeling of being a male or a female is absent in me. When people talk about “feeling” or “showing preference as” a male or a female (either in a child, in themselves, or in the topic of gender dysphoria), I simply do not have the slightest understanding of what it feels. People talk about girls liking dolls and boys liking trucks…I can’t wrap my head around it.

I normally dress a bit androgynous. Some days, I feel like a jacket and tie feels good. Another day, I feel great putting on a dress and heels.

I love it. I love all of it. I’m just tired of seeing the shock and… “disgust”? … when people see me in something that they weren’t expecting. And, let me tell you, different people make faces at jacket and a tie, and others make faces at a gown.

What I really don’t get is this: Why do other people make so much fuss over my identifying as agender or transgender people identifying as trans?

That’s not a rhetorical question. Also, you’re very welcome to ask any question. Please ask in comments below, and I’ll reply unless I perceive the question to be mean.

P.S. For people who asked me “Who do you date, though?” I’d like to let you know that gender identity and sexual orientation have nothing to do with each other. And we don’t really like our sexual orientation assumed based on our non-traditional gender identification. Yes, there is an overlap, but there is always overlap. This overlap does not have to imply cause-and-effect or co-causation just like how being cisgender does not imply being straight.


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