We love our partners, and we are appreciative. The colloquialism is “I love my spouse because she does so much for the kids!” “I love my husband because he helps out so much around the house!”
When we say things, we hear the words. And when we hear it over and over, we start getting convinced of its importance.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t appreciate things our spouses do. I want us to remember that those are not why we love our spouses. We fell for the person, not for what we gain by having them around.
The phrase “I love him because _____” makes our love conditional.
“I love that my spouse does this for me” may be a better way of saying it than “I love my spouse because ___.”
Any other ideas?