In conflict, if it’s all the same to you, we have three options.
Two frequently-chosen options:
1. Win for the sake of winning.
2. Let the other win, but make sure they know you let them win so it counts toward a brownie point for later use.
How about the third option?
3. Simply say “Ok” and leave it alone without looking for any reward from letting them win.
When our opinions clash with our spouse’s, we have three needs.
A. The need to mutually reach an agreement.
B. The need to win.
C. The need to be heard, recognized, and made to feel important.
A lot of relationships are combative or competitive – it’s just a matter of how often and how intense.
And steering toward peace may start by recognizing when we are in situations B and C, both of which are toxic and self-centered to bring into the relationship at that moment. Yes, it’s a part of a person’s valid set of needs; find a different moment in the relationship to satisfy those needs.