Why am I writing this? Who died and made me the authority on the topic?
No one did, and you can close this window if you’d rather read only from a “professional.”
But I do have two personal stories to tell you.
Story 1: Age 20
It was the orientation day for the faculty at the university I was about to start. We were put into groups of 8 -12 and were to be introduced to the 3rd and 4th-year students who would be our mentor at the cafeteria.
On my way there, I saw a line of motorcycles, and one just pops out for no reason. As I’m walking up the stairs to the cafeteria entrance, out of all the helmets and gloves hanging on the hooks one set catch my attention and I can’t look away. I have never had any particular liking to motorcycles. As I took the first step into the cafeteria, one man in the group in the far back corner of the cafeteria…same thing. Except they are too far for me to see any details of his face or physique. Though I memorize his outfit so I can find him later. I was reading the materials when he walked over and stood beside our table, and as I saw his jeans in my peripheral view, I feel a warm electrical zap through my entire body. The sensation lingers in my body. I don’t even know what it means; I hadn’t even seen his face.
Long story short, on the way out, he picks up these helmet and gloves, and steps over that motorcycle.
He had a girlfriend though. We become good friends for two years before we date for 3 years. We think alike, have similar opinions, and like doing the same things on weekends. It comes to an end because I did not know the value this relationship and saw it as holding me back from seeing the world.
The entire 5 years I knew him closely and quite a few years after that, I would feel the same electric zap through my chest when I think of him.
Story 2: Age 40
So I’m just chatting with this woman I have known around the social circles for 8 years. We were so disinterested with each other when we first met neither of us remember how we met. Since then, we weren’t friends, but we weren’t two strangers. In fact, if we run into each other, we’d stop our feet and catch up for a bit albeit superficially. We’ve known each other so long and we run into each other so often that we can’t remember how we first met.
I did think about asking her out one time. I’d known her a few years already at that time, and someone said she’d had a rough childhood. And I’m drawn to people who’ve had to work through pain because then they can understand mine. But I never did. I guess it wasn’t that important to me.
Just the other day, she said something when we were chatting. Something insignificant I’m sure because I don’t remember what it was. Then I just had this feeling of safety and comfort wash over me. The knowledge that we will be committed to working as a team – always communicating, listening, supporting, never undermining. Of course the timing is poor and I can’t ask her out, but if she asked me to marry her right that moment, I would have.
You can take those two stories – my actual personal first-hand experience with no exaggeration – and draw a bunch of contradicting conclusions. There is no point in debating whether love at first sight is real or not. The lesson is this: Preconceived notion of when to expect love (including “when unexpected”) can make us miss an opportunity.
Love is like the Sedins – always be open and ready.