When I say things like “oh I don’t lie” or “I don’t like being late,” very many people jump to defend doing so. “Oh sometimes you just have to lie.” “You can’t anticiate every traffic accident.” “Oh they will forgive you if you do. It’s really no big deal. Everyone does it.”
I thought it was about making me feel less burdened.
I still felt like it was a very weird situation that, under the guise of making me feel better, they are directly discrediting my values.
Recently I was explaining what I call my honour code, and it occurred to me… what if it wasn’t about me at all? What if they lie or are perpetually late, and they were defending themselves when they felt inferior to the values I’d just described as mine?